Your Faults
Extraversion/Introversion Sometimes act without thinking May be too dependent on the admiration or attention of others Keep in the background Openness/Traditionalism Pursue too many activities at the same time Am sometimes attracted by ideas that are radical but have not been thought through Jump around too much from topic to topic when I am talking to people Have a hard time making up my mind because I can always see all the sides of an argument Can become possessed by an idea See connections between things too easily Conscientiousness/Carelessness Seriously dislike having my routine or schedule upset Feel that I am being unproductive if I relax Will work on a project beyond what is useful and necessary Often procrastinate Emotional Stability/Low Stress Tolerance Am sometimes not afraid of things I should be afraid of Have found myself in dangerous situations because I was not paying attention Things that should bother me don't seem to Am often too optimistic Am too self-conscious for my own good Agreeable/Assertive Find myself making excuses for other's inappropriate behavior Can be overly sentimental Am polite to a fault Feel sorry for people who may not deserve it Would probably help me if I could be more competitive Find myself believing that people are basically good, even when there is evidence to the contrary Faults Analyses Am too self-conscious for my own good An Experience Due to the Fault In the past, I would always say I am an over-thinker without knowing what the actually reason was. Eventually, I learned that to one's greatest strength is one's greatest weakness. That's all I knew.Now, being mature in more ways than one, I can see that my self-awareness, as great as it is, can limit me greatly sometimes. I can be, as it says here with this fault, "too self-conscious for my own good." I'm not self-conscious in the sense of guilt or shame of myself, but rather too self-aware for my own good. Thus, I over analyze because I duplicate the process or look heavily into things when that's not needed.A story that describes this is finding the click with DB & Co in 2020. It was a year in which I moved home after deciding to take a leave from university. It was when the pandemic started too. So, in focusing heavily on my business, I was focusing heavily on everything within it. I was wearing basically every hat and doing everything. As I put it, "I was looking too close at the magnifying glass."..... when I didn't need to.It wasn't until conversations with others, identifying it, and talking to my brothers - especially Zach who is a business and finance genius and my advisor for DB & Co, that it was identified that I wasn't focusing enough. Which makes sense now. I'm one who likes to do many things, which I will touch on the fault in the present authoring (faults) at some point.If I didn't have the help of others, I would be lost. I would be going against the current and in a worse place then I am. It's great to know that my weakness can be fixed by the help of others and by my own stepping back when needed. Now, that's self-awareness. To know when to chill instead of pushing the ball forward and forcing things sometimes. It will happen how it should, just don't get in the way young man. A Possible Alternative Outcome Things that I ended up doing to fix this or that I could've done, seeing it in hindsight now, would have been:- Getting better partners and teammates - especially those who have strengths where I have weaknesses or more so things that are not as helpful for me to focus on- Not over-extending myself to clients or doing more work than is needed- Having advisors (as I do and did actionize) to point out my blindspots if I can't see them- Taking a step back to prioritize the most important things at the moment- Casting a vision then reverse-engineering my way to get there and not stopping at things that are distracting (i.e. even ideas of my own - since I'm a visionary and creative when it comes to that stuff) - Do as I do when focusing on a single writing task too. Write for an allotted short period of time, any thoughts that come up during that time can be noted on the side to come back to later and assess and categorize, and then finish the task at hand, to move forward where next necessaryListen Ant. Ideas are endless. You'll always have them. But prove to yourself that you can do the things on the small scale and as an operator and practitioner would! Guidelines for General Improvement I wouldn't say that just talking action will be the cure all. Taking action without proper focus and alignment and the correct people around me led me to a close-to-edge occurence before and as I explained in the previous two parts of this fault.I also wouldn't say to stop being self-aware. I can't just take out the tires from underneath me that keep me going.What I must do, in a balancing of the ways above, is to have others around me that call me out on my shit, call me out on my blindspots, and me having the ability to decipher how they are correct and how to apply such things in my life.It would be best to build a network around me, and more narrowly... a close circle around me, that I trust and can lean on for certain things that I won't be taking on or that I want to avoid so that can better handle it since they are better at certain things than I am.Lastly, using the sprint method in all parts of my life will be useful: allotted time of focus, write down any ideas or thoughts on the side that pop up randomly and can serve as a distraction, revisit and lay out ideas in the roadmap/blueprint if there is a fit to them in the grand scheme, and continue to compound that habit and revisit ideas later as I previously laid out. Adjust accordingly if needed!Bang. Be better! See connections between things too easily An Experience Due to the Fault I am a connector. Not just for people to others and themselves, but to people with God.Beyond that, I say I am a connector because I have a high pattern recognition for things relevant in my life at the moments in which I recognize such patterns. With that said, I always try to see "themes" and "meta-themes" all the time.I think they allow for an understanding of everything and a deeper way of living, not to cheat life and take shortcuts, but to recognize things better and faster and easier.A story in my life that relates to this virtue is every time I record a podcast episode with a guest, I extract themes in their life and even themes in their life that relate to the world at large. I do it out of second nature. Listen to any one podcast episode and you'll understand what I mean - even for myself to reference back. A Possible Alternative Outcome Sometimes, in connecting things too easily, I can miss out on the current flow that is happening. I sometimes try to get in my point to connect themes together, which can sometimes be my own ego wanting to do it rather than making a dire and needed point.That can be a major blindspot if not controlled effectively. I can also miss out on some major details if I try to gloss over the surface too easily since "I'm used to" or "know the thing already".Just because I know something well doesn't mean I should be surface level in my review of it. Absolutely. Guidelines for General Improvement I can be more observant to the individual and less focusing on my connecting of the themes or general connections of things. Although it is great to learn from others and apply such insight into my life, my own obsession with learning can take away from the care and attentiveness I want to show the person at hand.That's plainly it. There is nothing more to it. Can become possessed by an idea An Experience Due to the Fault I can. Absolutely.Ideas are the lifeblood and distraction of me. As I said in a recent post today too, "Ideas will be distractions, unless captured and used properly."With that said, let me tell you how ideas used to be distractions for me - without me even knowing it.As a general example, I would always be writing or reading or recording in the past. And while in the muck of that task and working hard within it, I would innately have ideas come to mind. Because this is the thing, I always have ideas. Always! So, there are three things I can do with that: 1) Start working on those ideas immediately 2) Let them pass by and be gone forever (most likely) 3) Note them down and return to them later.In the past, I would resort to #1 and #2. I never figured out or knew about #3, thus I was a wild monkey in my mind during work hours. It was not effective. Little did I know then, however, I know in large part now what to do. My conscious competence has grown and I am grateful for it. God has revealed to me something that will aid me on my journey.That is that. I used to become so obsessed with ideas, and in thinking they are good (which they are... but not when used ineffectively), that I would go down the black hole of generating an action for that idea. Whereas, it was actually working backwards for me to enact an idea like that because it took me away from the task at hand. Thus, the never ending cycle of being a visionary and idea-generator but not to my own benefit. A Possible Alternative Outcome This is what I wrote for an Instagram caption on one of my posts today. It serves the purpose of being used here too. How effective :)"I have an obsession….. with writing, that is.I’ve been intensely, purposefully writing behind the scenes for many years now.I still don’t know many things but I’ve found what works best for me.So here are some tips from my dome to yours - in case you want to write more and have it be effective too.How to consistently write A LOT (in order):1) Leverage the Subconscious Every Night - the best performers start their days the night before and do this as well:“I find that most great thinkers are slicing through complexity like a knife through butter. And then they arrive in an area of stuckness and they’ll spend a long time on that stuckiness….but they can also study everything involved with that stuck point, sleep on it, wake up, and just slice through it.” (Josh Waitzkin)TAKEAWAY: read this quote back.2) Tell Me Where You Write From, I’ll Tell You Your EffectivenessIf you have a desk of some sort, silence, and a way to write (tech or not), you’re good ;)TAKEAWAY: environment will predict your habits.3) Writing is a Wrestling Match, Not a Ballet Dance - “I write when I’m inspired, so I see to it I’m inspired every morning at nine o’clock.” (Peter De Vries)TAKEAWAY: so every day at the same time - set a timer for 1 hour or less, write, when ideas come to mind write them on a board/paper/notes app (its a distraction at the moment, don’t let them hook you), instantly get back to writing thereafter4) Idea Net - ideas will be distractions, unless captured and used properlyCapture ideas in the following ways and review them daily/weekly (a.k.a vet them):Use a Phone, Notebook, Whiteboard for capture.TAKEAWAY: do what is said above.5) Don’t Be So Hard On Yourself - yes, have high, high standards but be low on the self-hatred. Just write. Let it out.TAKEAWAY: just write." Guidelines for General Improvement I can do what is said in #3: "Writing is a Wrestling Match, Not a Ballet Dance - “I write when I’m inspired, so I see to it I’m inspired every morning at nine o’clock.” (Peter De Vries)TAKEAWAY: so every day at the same time - set a timer for 1 hour or less, write, when ideas come to mind write them on a board/paper/notes app (its a distraction at the moment, don’t let them hook you), instantly get back to writing thereafter"I can work on my writing every day for 30-60 minutes. No matter what is going on in my life, writing on a consistent basis (and making sure not to skip two days in a row) will be my breakthrough.Consistent, focus, smart, and diligent in my efforts.Let's do it! Seriously dislike having my routine or schedule upset An Experience Due to the Fault When I travel, I can sense this. When I'm on the go, I can sense this. When I don't have a static day, it's present.What I'm referring to is my ability to want to get back to balance when I've been too far away from my home/apartment or usually place of routine. For example, if I have a day in which I have to do production shoots or move around for business related things, I feel good in the beginning but towards the end I am somewhat drained (in a good way - meaning I exerted all I could). On top of that, I always want to reflect on things towards the days end and do an evening ritual.Thus, when I'm routine and fixed schedule is on point, I know what is coming. There is a level of comfort there. Whereas, when I'm flipped upside down with my routine and have an agile schedule, I don't know what is coming. It's not something I'm used to, so my body is thrown off and it can actually effect deep sleep and one's circadian rhythms because the environment is not the same as the usual.What happens in certain occurrences (or the example I gave above) is when my routine is thrown off, I go down a rabbit hole of thinking any behavior is necessary (i.e. eating junk food, watching a movie, endless social media scrolling). Because I think, If I went that far, why not go further. It's like a total black hole commit. Haha. But not funny when abused. A Possible Alternative Outcome What I could do differently is realize that I have to leverage my awareness to understand comfort from discomfort. When I am on the go and being agile with my schedule, it won't be helpful to not listen to my body and to not rest when I should. The more discomfort and unknown, the more my body will want to seek comfort and known.Yes, I can push through these times in my life when my routine or schedule is disrupted - in knowing that it is all temporary - however, it would just be better if I did the following: went with the flow of what was happening.Like this. A perfect example. I just flew into EWR (to come home for 2 weeks) from AUS (Austin, TX). I didn't sleep at all the night before (pulled an all nighter) because I had an early flight. So, when the evening rolled around I made the right decision to postpone work to be done until tomorrow and go to bed early. My plan was to wake up early, workout, eat, then do work intensely.The thing that happened though was when I went to bed at 8 pm the night before (which is early and great!), I didn't wake up until 8 am the next day. My alarm went off at 5:30 am but I went back to bed. My body needed it. I used self-awareness to know that I didn't sleep at all the night before and that 12 hours is better than getting up early and working out. Yes, to be hard and tough-minded is great, but I rather let my mind body and brain and mind recoup than try to prove to myself that I am tough. I know I am. That is a given.Doing less is my weakness though. And doing less is doing more. So I must learn to improve that.And to note, I can use self-awareness again to know that what is happening when home is temporary. I would rather spend time with family and get done what I need to get done, than to rush, hyper-focus, and not see my family. I won't be home for another month or so. It would be terrible to not allot time to one of the most important things in this life: my family. I am home for a reason. To plan and adjust well. Guidelines for General Improvement I can do my best in planning how things are going to plan out and pan out, however, I must not force what is not meant to be forced.I must do less and do what is within my control, to do more. I must also do what is right for myself to perform at the most optimal level possible and not push it to the point of exhaustion continuously. It is better to compound something over time than take shortcuts and do it all at once.Yes, there will be times when I do specific challenges and have certain periods where I want to go hard with something. That will have extreme discomfort, routine, and focus. But most of the time, it will be gradual, controlled, and continuous routine.I must know which is which when I have my routine upset. Whether it is a specific period of time OR whether I must listen to God and my logic to do what is right for the long-term. I never want to show up looking like a scrambled, tired, mess. I want to seem rejuvenated, amazing, and well at all times.So, I must keep that in mind. It's a "What can I do to align myself with that being?" type of thing. Am often too optimistic An Experience Due to the Fault I often see the great in people before they see it in themselves. I often see the very best before see the worst. I give chances when others give strikeouts. I love to bet on the down-trident because they have the world of growth ahead of them. Nothing can get worse than the bottom of the well.A short story that explains my often, too optimistic mindset is when I tried to help a couple in their relationship, yet the girl in the relationship was far gone in her pessimistic mindset. It was hard to get her out of her own head, yet the devil was too deeply in there. The foundation was set.See, my friend and roommate at the time was the one in a relationship. And long story short it was when there was a huge explosion in anger causing a fight that made the real situation come to the surface. It's when my fault came to light too - I was the only one to really see it though.I thought the girl in the relationship could change so I tried all I could in a nice, calm, helpful manner to address certain issues. I even tried doing such talking and listening during the time when the "water was boiling over the surface" (in a way of using an analogy).I kept seeing the good in her when she kept trying to see the bad in me. I kept helping and she kept denying. I was nice when she was mean. I could have put her in her place, but it wouldn't have done anything to help her emotions (which were fueled by deep issues and traumas). A Possible Alternative Outcome To minimize the effect of this fault, and the bad that came in the situation because of my using it, I could have let go and backed away.I could have tried my best to help in the situation but once I spoke my truth bluntly and to the best of my abilities, I should've walked away. Not only because it's hard to change people who don't want to, but to change someone's mind when they are heated in conversation is not a good approach.Why should I be be changing people's minds too? They don't want a change of mind, neither do I. Well, if it's fast, it's even worse. I could've instead asked questions and had the intention of planting those seeds instead of trying to reverse such change so quickly in a short-term way.Lastly, even though the beatitude in the Bible says that the meek will inherit the kingdom, it would sometimes be better to leave such wordly-infected people be. If God doesn't want me speaking the Truth, to them, I won't.To remember too: it's okay to be blunt and blast someone if their actions are sinful. When I'm trying to tell people of their ways and how it hurts others, if it truly does, it's okay to visibly show that. I'm not trying to hurt the maker of the bad action, but the action itself. A.k.a. not the contractor but the hammer! Guidelines for General Improvement Awareness, patience, detaching from trying to be "the one" to fix the situation.That's actually major ego if I'm in that mind-frame. Instead of trying to be "the one", I should just be "the one" and if God wants me in any such scenario, I will do my best as I can. That's it.In regard to vetting the situation before I go too deep, I should use my awareness and trust my intuition, if someone is like an angry bee and won't stop attacking anyone until their way is had. Or if they are a person who never wants to change in life. Basically saying, is this worth my time to invest into it? Or is God wanting me to be here and put my time forth here?Lastly, I say patience because when I want to be in a situation to help the pessimistic, I should be patient in helping them grow. I should think about myself and how long it took to change some of my own habits. I should be patient with others as God is patient with me. Embodying Jesus in that way.To have the cherry be on top, it's important to first always remember that the world is naturally bad. I'll always be optimistic. I don't care if doing it too much is a fault. Yes, I will make sure it's effects don't make me move backwards. However, in a way of improvement and keeping with the first sentence in this paragraph here, the world is filled with devilish, fleshly, people. It is sinned from the jump. So, I should rather see the bad in others and know that all have baggage and then work to the good. I believe humanity can be better. I believe in God and God believes in His people. So, to "change the world" as I and others in this world want to do, I must never avoid in knowing that there is bad in others. No one is an Almighty, perfect person. No one. Am polite to a fault An Experience Due to the Fault In the past, my kindness used to cripple me without me even knowing it. It was bad. It was extremely bad. I used to be so polite and kind to people that my projection of such a thing would project onto others and they would take that as my disposition.... then react to it. How I used to see it was people would abuse my kindness or cross the line, whereas it was actually me and my way of being polite to a fault - and too polite sometimes.I remember when I was younger and how I would go out of my way to provide rides for others or do things for others without even attending to myself first. That is a recipe for something terrible. That is a recipe for getting hurt. It's not vulnerability, rather it's being so polite that I would give it to others who would take, take, take and never reciprocate it.This fault falls in line with appeasing others instead of God and myself. Being so kind it can cripple me. It's literally what the fault says, "Am polite TO A FAULT." A Possible Alternative Outcome To avoid being hurt or in a way of minimizing the effect of this fault, I could have (and will make sure I staple into my being going forward) not been so giving to the point of hurting myself. I will always give and always be altruistic, however, when it gets to the point of over-extending myself and burning out, that is not good.Self-awareness is always a great to leverage too, so I can make sure I use the self-awareness I have to identify when I am doing something wrong or when I could be take my foot off the gas pedal of politeness. It's important for me to know that I can defend myself or I can push others in a positive direction by being assertive. For example, just today, my mom was crying over something when she was talking to me and I comforted her. Furthermore, after that happened I told her to stop having a victim mindset and stop putting herself down into a trapped scenario. Everything will be okay but it won't be with a fixed mindset or victim mindset. This is all in reference to Pop-Pop living home. It's not good, what's happening or what my mom has to deal with and handle. It's great that I pushed her to think above the clouds and be strong - because she is damnit! She is one of the most courageous woman I know of. Seriously :) Guidelines for General Improvement I should never let others abuse my kindness. I should never put myself in a place where I am under-leveraged. I should improve by always seeking God and never mans approval or in relying on my own understanding to make sense of things.Being polite is nice, yet when someone doesn't accept it, that's ok. Move on. Live your life. You never know what an individual is dealing with or going through.So, don't let others hate affect how kind you are. To keep in mind though, never keep giving if it's not meant to be gifted to a person who is not receiving or appreciative of it. You are not God bro. Let God be God. You be you and try to embody your best self as much as possible. Leave it up to the Highest One thereafter.There is a difference between being an over-polite person and someone who stand their ground in the face of some opposing force, some adversity, or whenever seems necessary. Yes.Converse your energy. Be calculated. Give enough of what you can give. That's it. Be patient in knowing you'll be able to give more the more you grow yourself. May be too dependent on the admiration or attention of others An Experience Due to the Fault This was a major flaw of mine mannnnn. It caused so much unneeded behaviors to take place and it effected my mental. Depending on the admiration or attention of others brought me such anxiety and slowed me down in the grand scheme because I was using up energy and resources in my head in doing such actions.I remember when I first met my good friend Adam Jones in one of the cafeteria areas at Drexel University, this fault was exposed so much. I looked up to Adam and wanted to learn from him plenty, so I always acted as though I was below him. I tried my best to say I knew things when I actually didn't and I would try to impress him in certain ways with my systems and living to try to get his approval or appreciation. Operating in that way and having him be a "mentor" in my eyes like that was draining without me knowing it. More importantly, it was inauthentic and the fast route to losing connections.... or worse, forming the wrong one's.He helped me immediately crush such a fault like a foot does a bug, which I'll explain in the next part of this fault explanation. He also took the notion of me as a "mentee" and him as a "mentor" in my eyes, as well. That was huge for bringing humility and stopping the intention of getting his admiration or attention. As I said in the previous fault explanation, and as I will in the next part of this one, God's admiration and judgement is the only thing that matters. A Possible Alternative Outcome The thing I could have done, that I do to this day in general, to minimize the effect of this fault is to simply rely on God, not on my own understanding or on man.The former is infinite, it's limitless, it's eternal, whereas the latter is finite and fading. That's it.I should never seek approval for acceptance into a social group. I should do what I can do best at this point in time and use any leverage I have (even if it's only my own time). Guidelines for General Improvement I should always strive to do things even if I was never going to get paid for them. Or let me phrase that better.... I should do things forever, that bring my joy and peace, even if a paycheck were to never come from it. That's how I would know I'm doing what I'm doing for God's attention and judgement and not for others.To live spiritually in a worldly world is tough. Some of the worldly poison can be this exact fault of being too dependent on the admiration or attention of others. So, it's important to have the strongest values and why possible so that you can never be swayed by others or by external factors, that will lead into the direction of greed and pride.To be noted man. Don't ever forget that. When you are dependent on others, you are desperate. Yes, there were times in life when I acted desperate because I had little money or because I had a scarcity mindset or because I was building. But now I have myself in the perspective of separating my time and income and in making sure I do things so that others need me and that I never need them. Leverage man. Leverage. Of course in a moral, helpful, honest, and genuine way. Be so valuable that God is Honored and that no one else can ever take advantage of you in any way. Would probably help me if I could be more competitive An Experience Due to the Fault There was a time in which Tom and I were playing basketball with Rob Sabatino. We were high schoolers and every so often when we got together, we would play basketball.It was during a particular time, that we went to a court near Rob's house (at an elementary school playground area) and started the game off from there.Things were increasing getting competitive between all of us, but most certainly between Tom and myself. We were physically the strongest, so we knew we could handle the push and assertiveness amongst our play. At one point, even though we were playing 21, Rob opted out because he had a heart condition, but also because it was too much on him individual. The face Tom had is like the face a person makes when the person across from them is their enemy.We were going at it and getting frustrated with each other. Anger was let out through harder basketball playing and it was a sight to see haha.I learned a different level of competitiveness in that moment. But it's rare in a certain way. I don't usually go hard to the point in which I did with Tom on a regular basis. It has to be brought out of me to enter into that state.However, being more competitive could have served me well when practicing sports with my little brother and teaching him to win the hard way (by beating me and trying his hardest even though I was going my hardest and not letting up), during sports at SJR - especially to be more assertive and fight for my captain position in football, and more moments too. I am a kind being and center my life around my faith, so sometimes I see competitiveness as me being mean or hurting others. However, if it's within the bounds of certain games or arena's of life it should be okay. It is something I must learn. I must see the bad in the world, the suffering, and reverse engineer to make my good out of it, yet always be aware that everyone is trying to get theres. Defend myself without being an asshole. A Possible Alternative Outcome In such situations, I would have controlled my anger better and leveraged it to channel my inner controlled chaos. To use anger uncontrollably in competition is not good. To use it wisely and effectively in competition is better.To be aware of one's competitiveness or non-competitiveness and change that through different action is hard. However, it will make all the difference.I don't want to always feel bad for others or seem like I'm hurting them if I'm being me in a competitive landscape. Hurting their feelings should be the last on my mind. However, I always want to make sure to balance my competitiveness with my values and belief system. I don't want to go outside of that and display faults just because I'm going a little too hard.It must be established within me though that I can't get what I want if I don't ask God for it. The world can't get the most out of me, if I don't command the most out of myself. I must act controllably when this fault comes about and know that competition makes me better. To lessen my worth or myself, in order to not hurt others in a given competitive situation is degrading my value. You can still have your framework and be competitive. It would serve me to use it every so often because when I strike with it, others will know "I mean business." Guidelines for General Improvement To not always apologize or feel sorry for others. A victim mindset isn't had by me, yet it can be projected! That's a no no.It would be best to bring out the best in others through competition and deep communication and candor. Why do you think everyone around Kobe and MJ was made better in basketball? Because they went so hard and put their ego aside, to have the intent be and focus be to make the other person better in front of them.It's okay to be competitive. All that matters is that it's within the bounds of doing right by what you have in your moral relativism and compass.Just because you don't do something doesn't mean you're not a bad person. Lean into that dark side to tap into deeper things to get over certain obstacles Ant. It will go a long way! Pursue too many activities at the same time An Experience Due to the Fault I always love trying many things. I'm experimental and I'm a sponge who wants to learn as much as possible from different things. I already knew many years ago that focus (at times) was a weakness of mine.When in high school, I would join different clubs and squeeze my time to get as much as possible from each day. When in college, I joined a dozen plus clubs to then trim the fat to see what was best for me.I am someone who likes being immersed in different areas. Even when it came to my own company, I was doing agency and media company work at the same time. It was too much work and I naturally over-extended myself too.So, I came up with a way to do everything by creating a parent company and other subsidiary companies underneath it. Bing, bang, boom. I could now distribute my focuses to different avenues because they are individually established. Whereas, I can also delegate to each company and automate whatever else is needed too.But to keep on the point, pursuing too many activities at the same time has been a constant theme in my entire life. I life to maximize my living, but sometimes I do it so much that I get to the point of little rest or little time to do nothing. I am learning to procrastinate on purpose and do nothing for the sake of doing nothing too. A Possible Alternative Outcome In those cases, it would have been more optimal to try out different activities and then purge the one's I don't enjoy. I shouldn't keep something because I want to appease another or please someone else. Rather I should let go of something because I must do that and I must trust in what is right to do instead of seeming to do it all because I'm actually afraid of the success of doing one thing.What if I focused on one thing for a while and then built out from there. How might my life be different? Guidelines for General Improvement In those cases, I would have trusted my gut in not spreading myself too thin. I would have focused on a particular task and compounded my efforts from there. However, using self-awareness I want to keep with the thing of me knowing that I enjoy performing many tasks and getting the most out of different pursuits. I can still have a particular focus and become a master within that through repetition. But I must build proper systems and the have the correct people around me to create/build alongside me.Something I would have acted on quicker would have been having the correct people around me in order to triangulate my views better and have them point out my weaknesses or blindspots. That way I could have entrusted to their perception what I should avoid or stop doing.Most importantly, it's as Proverbs 3:5-6 goes. I would rather trust in God than in any other person even. To trust in the Lord and His directing of my path would be more worthwhile instead of doing it all on my own. I love the responsibility, but that's not the thing. It's more so the direction and the proper movement. I don't want to be doing things for my sake or will, but for God's Will and His message. Will work on a project beyond what is useful and necessary An Experience Due to the Fault My first ever business had got its first client. It had been established for less than 4 months and I was in the agency phase of making money! I was excited beyond belief. I was willing to do whatever possible to make things work. I said yes and had to figure it out as I went on.This example highlights this fault, but it was also a unique case in which I had to do everything with that client in order to over deliver. But that's partly a lie. Did I really need to respond to every comment? Was it needed to do certain tasks late at night or was I just doing it to focus it on it too much or to show I was doing a lot of work to justify the pay and work I was getting? Was I doing it because I wasn't as confident in my abilities at the time or was I doing it because I wanted to go above and beyond and be a good agency for the client?As I can recollect the story, this client I got for my first agency long-term contract was Buon Appetito. I was doing strategy, content, and social media management for them. I was even doing merch orders and design those with the merch partners we had. I was fulfilling the orders too. During the project, I started a Tik Tok for Buon Appetito and that wasn't established that I do such a thing during our partnership (it was just FB and IG). Was I doing this for fun because I had just dabbled in real agency work with a first time paying client or was I doing it because I knew it was going to pay off? Nonetheless, it paid off and I went above and beyond. I got results that greatly over-delivered and with it came more work. There it goes.... the perpetual cycle of doing more than is needed or necessary to have more work laid on me.Let's dive deeper and discuss what I could have done differently in the next part. A Possible Alternative Outcome At the time, I was getting my name out there and doing tons of work in order to get even more work. It would have made more sense to upsell the client to get more work, but that's a lesson learned. When I had Buon Appetito as a sole long-term client I was limiting myself because I was getting less money (they lowered payout to me because during the pandemic, money was running low) and doing more work.Looking back at it in hindsight, I would have never budged on price or what my agency was getting paid. I would have communicated as to why I was worth such a dollar figure. My values was high and my performance reflected it. Alongside that, I also would have delegated certain work tasks to a new hire or freelancer and would have eliminated tasks that were not necessary.I am realizing that I continue tasks just for the sake of doing them, instead of realizing the tool of time and resources and effort it is taking out of me in the moment. Don't continue something when it is not worthwhile or meaningful. You are persistent Ant - that is known. Prove to yourself that you can do less and be better in that way. If you're unsure of something or don't know, don't do it. Guidelines for General Improvement In any given situation going forward, I can make sure I don't ever budge on price. I can make sure I don't allow people to abuse things that are unbeknownst to them, yet prevalent and stressful to me. With that said, it's useful to communicate all things at all times. And even more so, beyond communication, think about getting on the same page and allowing someone you need to understand something, to see things from your perception at such a point in time.People might not change if you ask or tell them, yet they will if you explain it to a point in which they can understanding. Understanding is so important. Without it, we are all aimlessly moving around for no reason and with no way to solve the issue at hand. We are, in a way, living in two different worlds when people try to work together, yet have different expectations of perceptions of what's coming or how to execute a project to the point of totality. Feel that I am being unproductive if I relax An Experience Due to the Fault This happens every time I want to take a nap or rest because my body needs such a thing: "no", "don't do it", "you are wasting time", "you are unsuccessful if you rest", "stay strong".As my eyes are shutting when doing work, I forge on because I want to do more and I want to hustle. Yet, working hard without working smart is a pointless pursuit. It's like I would rather burnout than pace myself in the current state I am in.Isn't it better to be consistent and rest often than go fast with many periods of burning out.That's why I burnout too... For the reason, the fault says, because I "feel that I am being unproductive if I relax". A Possible Alternative Outcome Take the nap. Take the time to rest. Go to bed earlier. Ask God for guidance and help. Don't always stem your actions in proving things to others or for others, rather let it be in God's name and do things to would make Him happy with you.When I want to rest I should. There are times to work and go hard. There are times to rest and be flowing with life. Procrastinating on purpose is a thing. Don't force a task if it is not needed. Remember, it is better to be consistent and sleep and rest often, than work to the point of exhaustion and have periods of burnout. It's like a care when driving. Stay in one lane and go a set pace, rather than swerve in many different directions or go in the fast lane and break often. What are you racing to the end for? Are you enjoying the journey along the way? If not, revisit the other, first question. Guidelines for General Improvement I must learn to be easier on myself and as JBP says in his 12 Rules for Life, as #2 goes, "Treat yourself like you are someone you are responsible for helping."I must be objective with my growth and productiveness. I must have different perspectives in being one person. Being a human is so fascinating! To go outside yourself is key. Yet, to go outside yourself as a form of detachment to assess, analyze, and make any situation better is even better!This just clicked now. Wow! That's exactly it. Use consciousness to your advantage Anthony!!!! Often procrastinate An Experience Due to the Fault One might think this is contradictory to what I have said before in that I go above and beyond what is needed or necessary with projects. With that said, it doesn't mean my approach is perfect. Sometimes it's exactly BECAUSE I am doing so much and going above and beyond, that I push things off because certain tasks are super arduous or are stretching my bandwidth beyond what I am capable of.My body is literally telling me to stop and I am procrastinating because it is so much, but I would rather continue pushing in my past life than assess why that is the case and how I can resolve such a feeling (a.k.a finding the root cause).A short story of my procrastination is pushing off completing the family timeline and my own timeline for my life. It's such a big task, that I haven't planned how to execute yet. I have to (in analogy form) spend time "observing the tree" before knocking it down.I keep pushing it off and off and off and off. It's going nowhere. My inaction is causing my harm than doing nothing. A Possible Alternative Outcome In such a situation that I experienced, and happened to experience often, I would do the following from now on based on what I learned:- Break down extremely large and meta goals into tasks, subtasks, and further subtasks. I want to get as practically, operational, and structured as possible (i.e. Kitchen 1, Pilot 1 sheet for TBX). As it goes, "A goal without a plan is a wish."- Be easier on myself and listen to my body when it needs a break. In a way I'm basically putting it as, lean into procrastination in a smart way and allow for adequate rest when needed.- On the above note, get sleep! Be careful with working too much, then being hard on yourself for not getting things done. Realize that this will turn into a perpetual cycle of self-hate. Get sleep to fix the well... to then fix the damn sink!In these situations, I must always refer back to my reflections, notes, and blueprint. Don't allow comparison to make me go harder. Don't allow my kindness to help others more or do too much to then not have enough energy for myself. Learn from your wrongs Ant. There's a pattern to this. Be better because of it. Guidelines for General Improvement Everything I said before can be the template in which I passover for healing all similar issues. Furthermore, it must be the general fix, as well.There is no other way.It seems counter-intuitive, but it's backed by science too: lean into procrastination when procrastinating.This is a different one than the previous explanation in 2nd phase of the fault dissection of "often procrastinate", but having a strong meaning to why I do something is important. Also, thinking long-term with everything is critical. Always.Anything outside of those, that I then root in my behavior will hinder me and cause me to fall into the black hole of this fault again. Being too tried, procrastinating, and pushing things off, are all byproducts of incorrect or undefined purpose, lack of structure, lack of honesty with oneself, lack of sleep. Bang! Find myself believing that people are basically good, even when there is evidence to the contrary An Experience Due to the Fault Something I innately do is have optimism in people and see good in the world and in others. It's like I see the potential in others before they do themselves. It's like I've been in their shoes before, which I have, so I want to help them as I helped myself.Another viewpoint though, is that my friend gets a lot from Jordan B. Peterson. He has adapted the mindset that the world is suffering and malevolence and that we all have the devil and evil within us. It's just a matter of learning to control such a thing and embody the quote of being a warrior in a garden, rather than a gardener in a war.But back to my explanations, I have reached a point once before where I used to help others so much who couldn't help themselves that I would burn out. I would go to the ends of my capabilities to have their perceptions changed or for them to be better off than they are now through my helping. More times than one, many haven't. Many have leaned into the bad of their hearts and don't want to go out.So, my work was like a person hitting their head against a wall because I believed in a person to be good, whereas their was patterns and past behaviors that showed elsewise. Same thing goes in middle school and high school. I would extend my hand to the hurt and wretched just to have them repeat the same actions over and over and over again. Call it a fault, I like living that way - if it's for the Will of God for me to perform actions for his sheep of the world or for the benefit of humanity. However, I do want to use my self-awareness to better sense out people who act in the contrary of good and there is little that I can do to help. That person would need resources beyond my capabilities. If it's not in God's Will (which is my framework of living), I want to better know to avoid those things. A Possible Alternative Outcome (1) It would be best for me to get to the point of seeing the world as suffering and bad and hurting. Many humans fall to their own devices for support and to each other for help, rather than believing in the Lord to do everything.If that be the DNA of humankind, I want to understand that and see that as the base, so that I can rise up from there and have everything be good thereafter.There are two ways to view others: as good or as bad. The former brings with it guaranteed down to then up. The latter brings with it guaranteed up through consistent effort and drudgery.What I am writing will make no sense to another reading from their perspective, but my writing using my own thoughts, is having all this make complete sense to come to a point of understanding.(2) It would be best to trust in God and always use my intuition to sense the "offness" in a scenario or know when something is "off". By "off", I mean from the norm or from what I am used to with an environment or from an individual. Energy doesn't lie and self-awareness is the barometer to know why. So, seeking understanding, getting all viewpoints, coming to a conclusion (and laying assumption to rest), and then being decisive on avoiding or helping others based on their current state would be best.Seeking for the good in others through my owns eyes is great, however, if there is continued evidence for someone doing bad, it is not worth my time or effort to invest in them in the slighest. In the slighest at all. Guidelines for General Improvement I want to observe the world and live, while keeping in my back-pocket that the world is malevolent and evil. While at the same time, acting and living out the way of optimism and the way of Christ.I want to live as though I can bring out the best in others and I can do my best, but always know that people, deep down, have a level of evilness inside themselves. We all do. Every human isn't perfect or is fully good. Only Jesus Christ did that.At large! Something I can do at large/on a meta-level, is gather all the information possible to then see where the comprehension lay. I have learned the easy way and hard way, how important information is. Having it and lack of information too. Which then informs how one communicates and how one behaves. Any blindspots in the person actions from there show how much information they have or how prevalent ego may be.So, in regard to this fault, the best thing I can do is know that the world is bad and hasty and un-Godly at its core. God is good, not the world. Then, thereafter, I can get all information to then make the most informed decision possible based on what I know in that moment. There is no other way. Unless I have the knowing or see the history or have the information to then comprehend.... to then see the person at a meta-level in their behavior and thinking, I will continue to have the foundation of knowing the world is the world and will remain the way it is if man doesn't fear God and nations don't fear God. Can be overly sentimental An Experience Due to the Fault I have a disposition and characteristics that sees good in people first (I wrote about such a fault in this part of the authoring program) and that is super polite to a fault t (I wrote about such a fault in this part of the authoring program).An example of me being overly sentimental can be shown in many experiences in my life whereas someone was put in a position whereas they felt sadness or grief. I always want to comfort those people and I always want to attend to how I can help them. On top of that, I always find myself reflecting more than usual. Sometimes it gets to the point of crying out of happiness or remembering a certain situation and crying.I am a naturally optimistic person, yet sentimental moments happen for me.A specific example being the relationships I had with females that developed into a romantic relationships. Now being apart from them, I often think back on those relationships on things I misstepped on or how I could have behaved differently to create a different outcome. When just a couple months out from separating from each of these relationships growing up, I would cry because I would get nostalgic in reflecting on "what we had". I would also get sad because it wasn't around anymore. I looked into the past and got zero takeaways when doing that. It was just for my own mental. Whereas, if I look to the past to reflect and understand, in order to learn lessons to then move on and move better, that's excellent. A Possible Alternative Outcome In the situation over being overly sentimental in those relationships, I would chose to have done the following differently:- Not expected closure/apologies/explanation/understanding/validation/belief in anyway, so as I could never use the reason of needing those things to feel sentimental upon looking into the past with certain relationships (an excuser blocker - in a way).- Let go and only reflect in order to derive lessons from those experiences- Understand that a different me was in the past and I am an evolved being now. There is no need to harp on what was had if I can't utilize that experience to its full capacity anymore- Appreciate the moments when I do cry. Let it all out and move on (I do a good job of this)- Never trap myself in sadness or pity of guilt, rather go within the arena of understanding, appreciation, and story- If it's not benefitting God, and I'm self-indulging through being sentimental in order to fell comfort in such a moment, I should not enact on it. For what's the point of comforting yourself, when God is the one who can comfort you during tribulating, non-understanding times. Guidelines for General Improvement In more general terms, I want to take on more responsibility.What I mean by that is I want to think about the best people ever (i.e for me that is Jesus). I want to then think about what he would do in a situation that was begging for a feeling of sentimentalism. What would Jesus think of and go to in order to not self-indulge in his own experiences in a way that is unbeneficial or meaningless.It's like being the son that doesn't cry at the funeral. Yes, I can cry behind the scenes, yet amongst others and when putting on the public face to condole others, I must stay strong and realizing that I am doing a greater good by not feeling pity but by taking on such responsibility and by staying strong in those moments.Before I act in a way that brings about tenderness, sadness, and such (as the definition of sentimentalist goes), I must think, is this worthwhile? Is this what Jesus would do? Is this what God wants me to do in this moment? Why fulfill my desire if it's not benefitting my Creator?Remember, you can only squeeze so much out of a wet rug before it becomes dry and wrinkly. It's like eating a cheat meal and going all in. Go all in then! Don't dabble here and there. Feel what you feel. Experience it. Then, move on and be happy with your decisions. Am sometimes not afraid of things I should be afraid of An Experience Due to the Fault My mother is the one who notices these things in me. She always looks out for the good of my interest, so that I don't hurt myself or for her bias, I do the best I possible can. Whether it be the foresight of knowing I am traveling on a certain day and telling me that there is a storm on that day or for allowing me to identify the malice in others before I see it for myself. She is such a strong, self-aware individual. She has more ability to discern than most and she knows her children well.No wonder she is always on the watch for me, even when I don't see certain things myself.I don't like living in fear or fearing others. So, this fault definition in the authoring program should actually be worded: "Am sometimes not aware of things I should be conditioned to be afraid of".I say that because I will give an example of my risk tolerance. My risk taking paints a picture as to how I am more able to do things because I am young and adventurous and don't see as risky in things that people see risk in.When in Iceland with my friends, we went on the greatest adventure of a lifetime. We were in the unknown, somewhere we've never been before, and ready to do anything. With a manual care we had to learn to drive on the spot, some people in that car rental dealership we couldn't trust, and a place with things unknown to us, in a culture unknown to us, my friends and I did everything and anything. We acted in the way we knew within our cultural living in America. Since we were only in Iceland for 10 days, that is why we did anything and everything possible - no matter the risk.That's just one example. My risk tolerance is high and my fear of things is diminished even if the stakes are high - and get more and more and more. Because I see life as getting in reps and doing things that I can derive learnings from. I would rather approach a harmful man to help him, rather than a harmless man to give him a weapon or do harm to him. I'm wired that way. A Possible Alternative Outcome I could have done my due diligence on the place in which we rented a car in Iceland and I could have used my awareness to measure the person's character based upon what I saw and the evidence I got from myself and the two friends I was with.I must never turn a blind eye to something potentially dangerous just because the other person is nice or because the environment is familiar. All are capable of good / bad.I don't want to constantly walk in fear. I don't want to constantly look out for the bad because then my worldview will always be pessimistic / miserable. I prefer optimism.However, because I act in that way, doesn't mean it will always happen. I can strive for it myself, but again, it doesn't mean others will act in such a way towards me. I can influence the entire world at once. I am not God.On the point of seeing things that are harmful (i.e. external factors aside from people), I can do a better job of looking out for it for myself, rather than my mom seeing it for me. The same way I planned my finances, set up a plan, and am building my wealth, is the same approach I can have with other facets of life. Doing the important things now, doesn't make them direly urgent later. With that said, in regard to the controllable, I can build good habits in order to make freedom and flexibility later on in life. I can think ahead to what I would need down the line and plan for that / build towards that - thus, all others around me can be better off.Or with uncontrollable things like nature interfering with my plans or God's Will coming into play (because yes, I fear God. He is the only one I fear - although that's a different context and meaning of fear than this fault explanation is calling for. Haha), I can foresee things to avoid and plan accordingly. I always know God's on my side, so I don't sweat the small / large things, however, that doesn't mean I should shrug off any awareness on my end or never take responsibility. That would be a bad way to live! Guidelines for General Improvement This fault correction is similar to the one I wrote about before. This one: "Fault: Find myself believing that people are basically good, even when there is evidence to the contrary".In thinking about things I could have done different in the examples I gave before in alignment with this fault of not fearing things I should be afraid of, it has the same undertones as believing people are good even when there is evidence to the contrary....It's the things of, "(1) It would be best for me to get to the point of seeing the world as suffering and bad and hurting. Many humans fall to their own devices for support and to each other for help, rather than believing in the Lord to do everything." With that said, people will do bad things, so I must always be vigilant to how I could overcome such attacks or how I could make sure to avoid such instances in which I see people or nature or things put in me in crippling situations. The same way I think ahead and have second-order-thinking, I can think ahead / think objectively to make sure any one circumstance or one person doesn't do something that I know can do acts that bring about fear in others (i.e. hurt someone physically)."(2) It would be best to trust in God and always use my intuition to sense the "offness" in a scenario or know when something is "off". By "off", I mean from the norm or from what I am used to with an environment or from an individual. Energy doesn't lie and self-awareness is the barometer to know why. "It's as though I can use the base of knowledge for how the world operates and triangulate it with my view for how I live and perceive things to come to a conclusion on how to act objectively in every scenario. Thus, avoiding any times in which I am overly bias or not seeing the bad things that can happen. The foresight to know, the trust in God to guide my steps, and the groundness to know all humans have a capability to act upon the evil within them. Not all sunshine and rainbows here on earth!