Single Dating Engaged Married Part 4 Dating: HOW pt 1 - Ben Stuart

Notes:

• WHO - character and chemistry

• "Dating is not a status you sit in, it's meant to have movement to an end to lead to marriage." (Ben)

7 Things To Lead a Partner Towards Christ:

1. Prayerfully
2. Clarity
3. Purely
4. Compatability
5. Graciously
6. Community to Help Evaluation
7. Patiently

1. Prayerfully - "I trust God with my life." (as Abraham's perspective was with his son Isaac in finding a wife for him)
1. Romans 8:28 - works all things for the good of those who love him
2. 1 Peter 5
3. 1 John 4
4. Genesis 24: Abraham finding a wife for his son Isaac (Longest chapter in Genesis)
5. Proverbs 3:5-6

• Once you get that vertical connection, focus on the horizontal connection next

2. Clarity - "don't play games"
1. Ephesians 4
2. Proverbs 24:26 - gracious thing to tell someone the truth
1. "Proverbs celebrates prudence" (Ben)
3. Proverbs 29:18 - where there is no vision, people perish
4. Woman want men to initiate
5. Follow up, follow up, follow up, follow up, and clarity of an end goal
1. Brings with it responsibility and priviledges
6. 1 Timothy 5 - older woman as mothers and younger woman as sisters with purity
1. The Bible doesn't recognize this single status - the way we go about it in the modern times!!!!!!
2. Don't worry about labels
1. She is God's child before your anything.
1. That's what God told me as well when I was thinking about Katelyn a ton!! (Anthony)
7. If a rejection from a girl makes you unstable, you are not fully following Christ. Christ loves you. That's all that matters!

• "Until you take on the responsibilities of caring for that person until death do you part, you don't get all the privledges that come with their body and their life (by their meaning: your partner)." (Ben)

3. Purely
1. "How do we figure out if we are sexually compatable."
1. "That is a selfish statement." (Ben)
1. 1 Corinthians 6
1. And to that point, when souls are intertwined through sex, it messes up the evalution process. You're marrying a friend, a fellow Christ lover, not a sex lover
2. Your brain is a dopamine-bath, so when you throw sex into this process, it causes you to be bias in your relationship evaluation and not God based. It causes one to stay in the relationship longer than is needed. And then.... the breakup is awful.

• Jesus didn't come for a perfect bribe but for a dirty, sinful people - all of which we are.

4. Compatibility
1. Pursuing Jesus and Lover of Jesus
1. Chemistry
1. Running towards Jesus
2. Clarity around convictions
3. Style of Church we will worship
4. Socially compatible
5. Theologically compatible
6. Philosophically compatible
7. Attractive connection

• St Patrick morning prayer:

I arise today

Through the strength of heaven;

Light of the sun,

Splendor of fire,

Speed of lightning,

Swiftness of the wind,

Depth of the sea,

Stability of the earth,

Firmness of the rock.

I arise today

Through God's strength to pilot me;

God's might to uphold me,

God's wisdom to guide me,

God's eye to look before me,

God's ear to hear me,

God's word to speak for me,

God's hand to guard me,

God's way to lie before me,

God's shield to protect me,

God's hosts to save me

Afar and anear,

Alone or in a mulitude.

Christ shield me today

Against wounding

Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,

Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,

Christ on my right, Christ on my left,

Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down,

Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me,

Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,

Christ in the eye that sees me,

Christ in the ear that hears me.

I arise today

Through the mighty strength

Of the Lord of creation.

5. Graciously
1. Ephesians 4:2-6
1. God has built one community; a unity
1. You are talking to a child of God, to royalty - courtship - to act with manners that fit a royal court
1. i.e politeness, respect, etc...
2. Someone under Christ is a son or daughter of God - treat them so - whether they know it themselves or not
3. Reverance for God that impacts how you treat a girl
1. If you use a possible partner who believes in Christ, you are not hurting that person, but God himself
2. Ephesians 4:8-13
1. To be a better person due to being in close proximity with the other person
1. "God wherever you lead me let me being around her have a net positive effect for your sake." (Ben)
2. "It's about being a blessing, not trying to impress them." (Ben)
1. Share what you're learning and grow together
2. Share missionistry together
3. Encouragement through words and actions
3. Graciousness is attractive
1. Proverbs 11:16
2. Proverbs 19 - what's desirable in a man is kindness; and being an honorable man is great too

6. Community to Help Evaluation
1. Proverbs 11:14 - no guidance, whereas counselors there is safety
2. Proverbs 24:6
3. These categories have gone DOWN with intros to people for dating: Friends, family, Church
1. These categories have gone UP with intros to people for dating: Bars, online
4. Meeting family and friends on first date
1. Have others see if you and the other person are a good fit

7. Patiently
1. There is no rush into forever
2. 1 Timothy 5:22-24
3. Don't rush to:
1. make someone a leader; make someone a partner
1. Let their actions speak before them (i.e. the sins they might have before them)
1. Some present well in the beginning, but cracks in their character become marriage breaking points down the road, like in marriage
4. C.S Lewis - The 4 Loves [book is great, audiobook is just as good]
1. Agape - Godly love for all
2. Feleo - brotherly, friendship love
3. Storga - affection
4. Aroff - romantic passion
5. God will care for you. It's better to wait for the right person, then go into a relationship and regret it
1. If God gave his Son for us, you can trust Him with the deepest things of your heart
6. Enjoy your single years; develop yourself and grow towards God and God will take care of you